Here lies my card from Bank of A,
Which left my life this very day.
She lies quite still no more to rise
And yet no tear shall wet my eyes.
She once seduced me with her wiles
And promises of airline miles.
She spoke of life without restraint.
I did not offer one complaint.
With her nearby I traipsed all over
Going through money like fields of clover
Each want fulfilled, every desire.
And thus my balance climbed higher and higher.
Until my life filled up with stress
As I gazed upon the mess
With all this junk I did not need
And bills which did my pay exceed.
I said, “Enough!! I want no more.”
And tried to show her out the door.
'Spite push and shove and shove and push,
I could not budge her great, big…ahem.
It's not that she had things to prove
Just that she'd grown too big to move.
A friend suggests, “Starvation diet.”
And so I set about to try it.
I locked her up, no more to roam.
When I went out, I left her home.
I did not cave to every whim,
I worked quite hard my costs to trim.
Bit by bit I did progress.
Slowly, surely owed less and less.
And then last month, seeing the end,
I took her out and tried again
To push her out that very door
She'd been too large to pass before.
She begged and pleaded for reprieve.
She sought forgiveness, urged me believe
The recent past was not the norm.
She would behave. She would reform.
But I had had enough of debt.
On her sincerity I dared not bet.
I would not feed her any more.
She must, I said, be shown the door.
From that day on, the end came quick.
She'd grown quite slim, who'd once been thick.
And then this morning, cut to the core,
I noticed that she was no more.
The balance erstwhile had grown at will,
This morning t'was zero. Nothing. Nil.
I must admit we'd had some fun,
But now I'm glad our days are done.
Tho' fun it was to spend and spend,
I'd realized those days must end.
And now I'd reached that very goal.
My card could rest her troubled soul.
Wreak no more havoc in my life.
Cause no more worries, no more strife.
And so, old friend, I bid adieu.
I'll never have more need of you.
So long, goodbye. For I can tell
My fortune's changed. So fare thee well.
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